Jan 16:Reflections on hosting

I thought it would be helpful for those who may consider hosting in the future to summarize some thoughts about the whole experience:

1. First, I think our experience went extremely smoothly, probably easier than I ever expected. Sergiy and I only had one disagreement where he went to bed not speaking to me (instead he waved goodnight as he lay on his stomach with his head in the pillow). That was over taking to bed my cellphone. He wanted to play a game. But my cellphone has internet access and I wasn't going to risk him using the internet so my "no" stood. But the next morning, he came downstairs as if nothing had happened. Usually when told "no", he would give a shrug of his shoulders and say, "ok".

2. One of the hardest decisions was who to host. We considered several. And when you finally make that selection, you automatically decide (obviously) NOT choosing the others. That weighed on me a bit, but you can't host everyone.

3. I think not having TV on for a week was a good move. Especially as hosting proceeded, we learned how much this kid loved movies. Some TV is fine but I didn't want him sitting in front of the TV all day.

4. I had made a list of items in Russian phrases of "house rules". We went over them in the beginning and left them in his room. And we did as we were encouraged in training and followed a schedule that was pretty regimented in the beginning and then we loosened up as we went along. He went to bed the first week pretty much at 9 but gradually loosened it after that. It was good to start more strictly at the beginning.

5. We did an "English" class pretty much every day. We used livemocha.com. I think it was very helpful for him and he seemed to enjoy it. The other thing we did was to name most of the common items around the house such as furniture, silverware, etc. And we used elementary school readers that he could read from most days. After 5 weeks he made the most improvement in reading and he could understand much more than he could speak.

6. The biggest difference over time was his appetite. He ate like a bird for the first few day. Gradually it picked up over time till at the end he was eating like a typical 14 yr old...all day long. He never developed an appetite for sugary stuff, candy and the like.

7. The hardest day is the day of departure. It is very hard to leave the house and to come back to the house without them. Of course, the last hug before they go through to security is very difficult.

8. What would I do differently? I wouldn't get to the airport so early on the day of arrival. As long as the weather is good, you know that customs is going to take some time after they arrive. Because Sergiy had a 10.5 hour flight, we knew what time he was going to arrive in Chicago. We got there way too early and had a really long wait that was stressful. I would go to the airport the day before departure and not the day of departure. Even with good weather, you know you have to make that flight and it is pretty stressful worrying about what if the car has problems, what if there is a wreck and the road gets blocked, etc. etc. It wasn't worth it. Next time, go early and rent a hotel room.

9. Before we did this I had two people ask me the same question: Why would you take a child and bring him here to experience all of what we have and then send him back to a life where most of that is unreachable? Good question. Let me answer it with a quote I read a while ago: "Orphans are easier to ignore before you know their names. They are easier to ignore before you see their faces. It is easier to pretend they're not real before you hold them in your arms. But once you do, everything changes.


In closing, I would ask you to do the following:

1. Really consider hosting a child for the summer. The next hosting period is from the end of June to the beginning of August. The New Horizons team will be going over very soon to interview and finalize the list of kids who can come if they find families to host them. The list will be out in early spring!

2. Tell your friends and family about New Horizons for Children. Their website is:
www.newhorizonsforchildren.org You never know who might want to do this. I heard about it almost by accident. If you know of anyone that would want to know more, feel free to call me, I would love to visit with them.

3. If you can't host, then consider helping someone financially to host who wants to.
It costs $2,500 to host a child and then there are expenses while they are here. Deborah and I had a few people who contributed to our hosting fees and we are, fortunately, in a position to pay the balance. Not all families who would really like to host are in the financial position to be able to incur this type of expense.
Seriously, if you can't host a child, let it be known that you will help someone who will. I think the money scares some people away. It would be a great thing to have a group of kids to be able to come to central Iowa for summer hosting.